Your child’s birth story is part of your shared history and deserves to be told. However, it is important to choose the way you tell the story, especially if your child was affected by a rare disease such as hemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN).
Regardless of age and maturity, consider removing the stress and anxiety associated with the experience of their birth and instead concentrate on the health-related facts and the positive outcome: a healthy, happy baby.
What is HDFN?
Hemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN) is an immune-mediated red blood cell disorder that occurs when a baby’s RBCs break down quickly, which is called hemolysis. HDFN is caused by a mismatch between a mother’s and her baby’s blood type (A, B, AB, or O) or Rhesus (Rh) factor (Rh-positive or Rh-negative) during pregnancy.
The importance of telling your child their birth story
Children are naturally curious and want to understand how they were born. Speaking openly around HDFN will help your child learn about their health history, help them understand the complications surrounding their start to life and reassure them of the love and joy their birth brought you.
Use age-appropriate communication
At some point in their childhood, your child will ask you about how they came into the world. Your response will need to be tailored to their age and level of understanding. Some parents keep it light and avoid any details that might create fear or negative feelings. Others decide that the best communication is an honest, detailed, no-holds-barred account, including photos and video. You will need to decide what approach suits you and your family.
Preschoolers
At this age, children are not capable of processing the finer details of HDFN, the risks and the medical intervention.
Consider referring to the circumstances of pregnancy and birth as requiring help from the wonderful doctors and nurses at the hospital. The feeling of joy around their arrival is important to convey.
School-aged children
Children in primary school are full of questions, and curious about everything in their world. You can easily provide more context by factually mentioning a medical issue they experienced as a fetus and newborn, that was then resolved. However, an emotional account of the situation may create feelings of worry or guilt.
Preteens and teens
At this age, your child will be putting pieces of the puzzle together. They may have heard parts of adult conversations or references to their birth or they may have a younger sibling who has experienced HDFN. You will need to be prepared for some clear requests for information.
The best approach is a calm, structured discussion that explores the story of their HDFN-affected pregnancy and birth. Answer their questions factually and reassure them with your honesty and love.
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