Siblings of children with a health condition often feel overlooked or invisible as their brother or sister requires constant monitoring and treatment, taking up most of their parents’ time and energy. This can develop into “glass child” syndrome if efforts are not made to include the healthy sibling and make them feel more of a priority.
What is a ‘glass child’?
A glass child feels that they are transparent, like glass. With all the focus on the sibling who has an illness or disability, such as hemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN) the glass child has the impression that people are looking through them. This can create feelings of resentment, followed by feelings of guilt for feeling such resentment.
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The healthy sibling or siblings learn to keep a low profile, knowing it is important that their sick sibling receive the care and treatment they require. A lack of attention and repeated disruptions to family plans, schedules, special occasions and even daily life can lead to the healthy sibling feeling less of a priority, thus becoming a glass child.
Signs of ‘glass child’ syndrome
“Glass child” syndrome is not a medical condition but an informal way of describing a family dynamic that results from having a sick child in the family. It can profoundly affect the sick child’s sibling and affect their emotional and behavioral development. A glass child might be hard to spot, as they are used to saying that things are fine.
Here are some qualities to look for if you suspect your child might be a glass child:
- Hyper-independence
- People pleasing tendencies
- Socially isolated or depressed
- Difficulty expressing their emotions
- Attention-seeking behavior
How to avoid ‘glass child’ syndrome
A proactive approach is essential to avoiding the onset of “glass child” syndrome in your child or children who are unaffected by a serious illness. This means intentionally and consistently making them feel like a priority.
Encourage open dialogue. Your child will have picked up on the stress you’re under and not want to bother you with their feelings. They may feel guilty causing a problem, when they know their sibling is sick and needs the attention and treatment. Expressing their feelings might not come easily. Communicate honestly and be ready to listen.
Plan regular quality one-on-one time. Find an activity that your child enjoys and do it together. For example, it could be doing a craft activity, watching a movie, cooking together or going to watch their sport training or match.
Ask your doctor for advice, or a referral to a therapist. Providing a safe environment for your child to express themselves could be invaluable in addressing their feelings of being overlooked.
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