Regardless of your birth experience, but especially in the case of high-risk pregnancies, once you enter the postpartum phase, you will need to establish clear boundaries.
While it is important to set boundaries as soon as you are in the delivery room, as you start to navigate your path as a new mother, you will encounter different challenges on a mental, physical and emotional level. By using honest, consistent communication with your loved ones, you will likely have more time to rest, prioritize self-care and bond with your newborn.
What is HDFN?
Hemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN) is an immune-mediated red blood cell (RBC) disorder that occurs when a baby’s RBCs break down quickly, which is called hemolysis. HDFN is caused by a mismatch between a mother’s and her baby’s blood type (A, B, AB, or O) or Rhesus (Rh) factor (Rh-positive or Rh-negative) during pregnancy. Numerous antibodies to RBC antigens can be linked to HDFN, such as those from the ABO and Rh blood group systems.
Recovery following a high-risk pregnancy
When recovering from giving birth – a natural birth or a cesarean delivery – you will feel the need to share your time between sleep and time with your baby. The accumulation of the anxiety of the preceding months and the relief of having your baby with you will create a feeling of exhaustion and exhilaration. At the same time, you might have ongoing healthcare issues to manage, if your baby is in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) for more specialized care.
Postpartum boundaries
To ensure your best recovery, which will in turn set you up to take care of your new baby, you will need to define what you need and clearly convey it to friends and family. Of course, your partner can help provide the buffer between your self-care time and the outside world, but by clearly communicating your needs and expectations, you can avoid hurting your loved ones’ feelings.
Prioritize your family’s needs by sharing clear, structured messages around when friends and families can visit, the lengths of visits and the support you need most.
1. Be honest with yourself and others about how you feel and what you need. Don’t feel the need to people-please in this critical time of recovery. Set structured visiting hours and the rest of the time you can feel guilt-free as you nap and nurse your baby. You may be sleep deprived and hormonally overwhelmed at times, so this quiet is essential to your well-being.
2. Ask for specific support. Friends and family will want to help, so take them up on the offer and ask them to prepare meals, do washing, run errands or help you in other specific ways.
3. Put your phone away. Disconnect from the constant communication – messages, photos, etc. – at certain times. Turn off your notifications and only check in from time to time. Otherwise, you may never switch off and sleep.
4. Make time for medical consultations and follow-up care. It is essential you can be 100% concentrated on any medical appointments or treatments, whether for you or your baby.
5. Revise your boundaries as time passes. To start with you may need more time to sleep and recover. As you feel more rested, you may feel ready to see more visitors and share the joy of welcoming a baby. In this case, feel free to be open about your changing needs and expectations.
Defining your boundaries to best support your physical and emotional recovery during your stay in hospital, will help you structure your first days and weeks at home in your “new normal.”
