Pregnancy and giving birth are incredible life events, but complications such as hemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN) can be scary and stressful.
After birth, your child may have been admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit and required phototherapy and possibly blood transfusions. Giving birth to a child only for that child to immediately go into intensive care is not a position that any parent wants to be in.
However, friends and family who only know about the birth of your child without understanding what you and your child have been through may want to see you and the baby as soon as possible to offer their congratulations. Here’s why it’s O.K. to say no to visitors after birth.
Find answers to FAQs about HDFN
Protecting the physical well-being of your child
Your child is likely to be in a physically vulnerable state after having endured the treatment required in HDFN. In addition, your child may have experienced severe complications associated with the disease. Therefore, even if your child is deemed safe to be discharged home, it is a good idea to let your child have some time to rest and recover, as anyone who has gone through a period of sickness would want.
Read more about HDFN testing and diagnosis
Because your child may have a weakened immune system, the last thing you would want is for your child to catch an infection that might put them back into the hospital. It is perfectly acceptable for you to communicate this to your friends and family.
If you do not wish to divulge too much detail or explain what HDFN is, it’s alright to just say that your child is recovering from a sickness and needs time to rest and recover before seeing anyone. Most people will understand and give you and your child some space to recuperate.
Giving you space to attend to follow-up appointments
Depending on the severity of the HDFN episode, you and your child may need to attend multiple follow-up appointments. This is because doctors want to be sure that your child is healthy and growing well, especially after undergoing the tests and treatments typically associated with an HDFN birth.
As a new mother, it is challenging enough to adapt to the care and follow-up appointments of your newborn child, without having to deal with visitors. Setting appropriate boundaries with your family and friends during the first few days and weeks following birth can allow you to focus fully on your child’s recovery and well-being.
Guarding your own mental health
A diagnosis of HDFN is likely to have come as a shock to you, unless you have had a previous pregnancy affected by HDFN. Either way, many women find pregnancy to be a stressful period, even if the pregnancy is uneventful. Dealing with HDFN can be challenging, and it’s understandable to want time to focus on your own mental and physical health and the well-being of your child.
Ultimately, you need to prioritize your mental health needs, for your own sake and the sake of your newborn child. If that means setting aside some time during which you don’t wish to accept visitors, then that is the right step to take.
Let your well-meaning friends and family know that you are recovering from a difficult pregnancy and need some time to heal and recover. Most people will respect your need for privacy and quietly offer you support from afar until you’re ready to welcome them into your home.
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