Hemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN) has greatly affected my family in many ways and continues to affect us, even after my child has recovered. The most significant long-term effect is the change to our family plan.
Dealing with loss and a new diagnosis
As long as I could remember, I dreamt of having four children. However, I found out how difficult starting a family would be when our first child was still born at 25 weeks gestation. That experience, though traumatic, didn’t deter me from my dreams of a large family. Instead, it made me even more determined to have the family that I had always longed for.
I was pregnant eight months after our loss. That pregnancy was very scary, as we had no explanation as to why our first son died. Every day, my mental health struggled with the constant anxiety surrounding my baby’s health, constantly wondering if I had felt the last kick. We were so thankful once we heard him cry and held his body that was full of life.
We found out after delivery that my son and I’s blood had mixed, causing my blood to develop a D antigen. This sensitization is something that I did not understand at the time. My doctor only vaguely discussed it with me. She stated that we could talk more when I became pregnant again.
Seven months later, I became pregnant with my HDFN warrior. It wasn’t until after my initial labs that my midwife informed me that she could not see me due to the complexity of a blood-sensitized mother. I had to see an OBGYN who oversaw the rest of my pregnancy. He referred me to a maternal-fetal medicine doctor who eventually transferred me to a doctor who specialized in treating HDFN in utero.
I then had to undergo three intrauterine blood transfusions just to keep my baby alive. It was a very scary and traumatic time, as I constantly grappled with the fear of potentially losing a second child.
Letting go of my original plan
The last two months of that pregnancy made my husband and I rethink our original family plan. I had so many complications with my HDFN baby, and knowing that I may not deliver a healthy baby during my next pregnancy scared me.
Due to this heinous disease, my husband and I decided to have my tubes tied during my C-section. This was definitely a hard decision, but after talking to numerous doctors, I feel it is for the best. Statistically speaking, all of our children had the exact same blood type, meaning that it was likely our next child would have also had that blood type causing my body to attack them as well.
It was also the best decision we could have made financially, as well. Just with our HDFN baby, we had weekly sonograms starting at 20 weeks gestation, three intrauterine blood transfusions, a C-section, a week stay in the NICU, three hospital trips, three blood transfusions after birth and weekly appointments to check for anemia for four months after birth. All of these appointments and surgeries were not cheap.
Overall, I believe changing our family plan was the best decision we could have made for our family. We are blessed with two healthy kids and wouldn’t trade them for the world.
